I know what you’re thinking.
“Feminism”, here we go.
Well, at least, that’s what I’d be thinking if I spotted an article like this on my reader.
But that’s what this article is going to be about. The stereotypes and misconceptions of modern-day feminism.
I mean, it’s everywhere now, isn’t it? You have actors – yes, male actors – coming out as Feminists, you have women burning their bras and going on marches without tampons or bras or clothes at all, in order to show their Feminist views.
And I’m a little worried about what it actually all means.
I mean, where the Hell does it start? And where exactly does it all end? Is there any length as to which a Feminist will not go?
Growing up I wasn’t told which religion to follow, or political party, or social views. My parents really wanted me to create my own opinion and outlook on life and the world; and I adore that. Now, however, they may be regretting that just a little.
And don’t get me wrong there’s aspects of that which I hate. Like the fact that so many social issues I’ve never heard of before because my parents didn’t give me the briefing and low-down when I was seven. I never heard of them discussing political parties in the run up to the general election. They allowed me to decide whether I wanted to get up at 8am on a Sunday morning to attend Sunday school. There are parts of my upbringing that I won’t be passing on to my kids, but most of it I love because it allowed me to develop my own opinion on things.
Like, for instance, I am a huge supporter of equal rights. Whether you’re green; yellow; gay; purple; white; red; lesbian; black; blue; straight; bisexual; overweight; gender fluid; underweight; poor; transgender; rich; I don’t really care. I believe every person breathing should be given the same rights as another person breathing on the other side of the planet.
And that’s where Feminism comes in. Because a huge part of that is that women should have equal rights with men, yes?
Well, I don’t understand why women don’t. I genuinely don’t get it. I mean, I grew up genuinely believing that every person in the world had the same opportunities and rights and rules and whatever that I did. I was going to school, learning cool things, deciding what I wanted to be when I grew up and I loved it and I thought that the kids on the TV in the ‘Help’ adverts had that too.
I didn’t understand why we had to learn about “women in the workplace” but we didn’t have to learn about men. It confused me.
I knew that my step-brother had his own car mechanic garage and I knew that my mom and my step-sister had helped out when he’d first took off.
That was just a fact to me.
It didn’t occur to me that in the fifties my mom and sister would’ve been sent straight from the garage to the kitchen with a laugh and a scoff and an order of a sandwich. It didn’t occur to me that if I was born in the forties so I was growing up in the fifties I’d be told that the best way to make a life for myself would be to have a child and marry a wealthy – or hard-working – man.
My Nana was a fantastic singer but turned down plenty of recording contracts in order to raise her children and be a “faithful wife” to my Papa. Nowadays we find this ludicrous; she had an amazing voice and to-die-for opportunities; it was a no-brainer situation.
But women were assumed to be doing a certain job. And I don’t get that. That’s where I say that yes I am a Feminist because why the Hell should I say no to a career in order to have kids? Yes I want a family, but I want an education and a career first.
Not only that, but I want to know that when I go into the police force or the lawyer’s office or the fashion magazine, that I will be getting paid the exact same as my male colleague (unless he’s in a higher or lower rank than I), that I will have the same opportunities that he will and that there will be no prejudice or favouring or back-handers of any sort. That’s just a given in my opinion, I used to genuinely believe that everything was equal and my beliefs were actually the real case.
Where I draw the line is when women march around the streets with nipple-tassles covering their nipples and a tiny little piece of fabric covering their down-stairs lady-parts; claiming they’re protesting for women’s rights and that by dressing in barely anything they were making people turn heads and notice them more.
I don’t understand this. I really don’t. If you truly believe you’re protesting for a matter that is justifiable and if you really believe in your campaign; then you don’t need to change the way you dress to make people turn heads. If you arrange your campaign in a way that is intellectual and factual and undeniable then you will have a case whether you dress in a bin-bag, a pair of jeans, or your birthday suit.
The different versions of Feminism nowadays scare me slightly, and give Feminists in general a bad name. There’s a line between being rude (I once saw a woman refuse to walk through a door because a man – a total stranger – was holding it open for her, and she could hold it open for herself thank you very much) and being politically equal with your male counterparts.
I am all for equal rights, as I have said above, and I completely scoff at anyone who says I am not – because they really don’t listen or read what I have said or know me at all.
Feminism should be about equal rights; it should be about being able to wear what you like and not be seen as “provocative” of any sorts – but then again that’s a whole other issue entirely isn’t it? – So then why is Feminism such a big deal today? Why is everyone suddenly getting involved? I genuinely don’t understand.
Did I miss the memo about it being the current trend? Was I completely asleep through a civil war where men totally banished the wishes and rights of women and woke up with the current Feminism trend in a rebuttal against that? And what the bleedin’ hell is Menism? Why the hell does there need to Menists in the world? I understand Feminism and Feminists are around because of the fact that once-upon-a-time women were forced to marry and have kids and cook and clean and that was pretty much it, but men were never made to do that, were they? So then why do we suddenly have rivalling Feminists vs Menists? Feminists are campaigning for equal rights, fine. But what the hell are Menists campaigning for? They already have it all easy otherwise we wouldn’t have Feminists, and they can’t say they’re campaigning to help lower their rights to an equal playing field for women, because the men that say that are Feminists too. So what’s the point in Menists?
Is the point to tell women to get back in the kitchen? Is the point to tell women what we can and cannot wear? Is the point to tell women we’re wearing too much makeup and “take it off you look too fake I want to know what I’m really trying before I’m buying.” Because please, if that’s what a “Menist” is then give up pal, you’re really a sexist pig and have no clue what you’re really talking about.
Or, maybe I’m the one that has no clue what I’m talking about.
Please do not think for a second that I mean any insult or direct comment or anything by this post, I am genuinely curious of the current social trends and am confused by the big deal.
The point of this post is to really acertain where it all went wrong.
Where the lines between tradition, manners and modern rudeness really disappeared to.
I mean, there’s the tradition of women staying in the kitchen which fades away to the manners of people (both male and female thank you) holding doors etc and then that fades away to the plain rudeness of todays Feminists and Menists (I am not singling out one group because to be frank there are parties of both which are completely raving rude.)
People, didn’t your momma’s ever tell you to be polite? Unless you’re being rude at the direct person who has insulted you or hurt you or been rude to you or has been the cause of you to fell so strongly; please do not take your opinions and beliefs out on others. It’s just awkward and uncomfortable and to be quite honest, embarrassing. But not for that person, for you.
I’d like to live in a world where everyone can treat everyone equally; regardless of gender, sexuality, race or otherwise. I mean I’ve been judged (far too often if I’m honest) and I grew up (and still live) in one of the UK’s roughest cities which claim not to give a damn about that kind of “political” thing. So don’t tell me I don’t know what it’s like to be discriminated against, because when I’m at uni I’m discriminated against every freakin’ time I open my mouth, so I understand the irritation, discomfort and rage. But that doesn’t give me the right to go about protesting or campaigning or shouting about it. Because not everybody in that university has treated me with the contempt of the few who have.
It’s a tricky game to play, and I appreciate that. We all handle insults differently. I would like to punch every person in the face who ever insults me (and has done so in the past) but that would get me spiritually nowhere and would give me a lot of ASBO’s which would really fuck up my squeaky-clean-record for the FBI.
I just want you all to think of your views, to appreciate the views of others; and next time you’re protesting or campaigning or whatever, really think about why you’re doing it and if it’s the definite right thing to do. Ask yourself if you’re really benefiting from the entire experience (spiritually, physically, politically or otherwise) and if you ever will.
Remember, this is not a rant nor is it a “pointing the finger”. It’s just a mere post of me blogging some thoughts and opinions and I do apologise if any one has taken offence at any point, or if any one has felt any negativity from this post, as I try to keep away from the N stuff.
It’s really not good for your soul.
Much love, B xo