A lot can happen in 8 years.
Try puppy fat and braces, for instance. Or, having 14inches of hair chopped off. (Yes that really was all done in the oner – post on that coming soon)
But my oh my, if there’s one thing I am truly embarrassed about, it’s my 8-12yo self. I was more like a bouncing rugby ball than a walking pre-teen.
However, I was one cuddly gal, and I still am, just maybe a little bitchier – and hopefully taller and better looking lol.
I’d like to think I’m a little wiser now, too, even if that meant losing a lot of my caring & loving side. But oh well, sometimes you have to lose to gain, right?
So please, don’t be too harsh on little 10yo Rebekah; I was a very gullible and naive little girl. I genuinely thought that lipgloss suited my skin and that top wouldn’t show off my “pudge” (as my lovely grandmother used to say) even though I didn’t really know (or care) about weight “problems” or “issues” or any size relations whatsoever.
That’s what I love about little me – I was so naive and so ignorant to so many different things. I genuinely had no clue what was waiting for me when I got to high-school; bitchiness, boys, something called divorce, backstabbing, gossip, rumours, something called being fat, the issues people had with gingers. There was a lot I had to learn real fast in the first month or so of high school and I’m proud of little me for dealing with it so well; even if I did completely change in the process of being a more knowledgeable person.
But hand on heart I can honestly say that I have always been the person that I’ve wanted to be. In the sense of; if i’ve ever caught myself thinking or looking or talking a way that I’ve disliked, I’ve immediately stopped myself and said “you’re going to change” and so I have. Not because “that’s not the right way to speak to people” or not “because society and the media expect you to be a size 10” and not because “wearing those clothes and that hair-style is atrocious and embarrassing” because really; I never have nor will I ever give a shit about what people think in regards to the way I think, act, dress, look, behave, talk or do the things I do.
I do the things I do (may it be what I wear, how I wear it, the way I look, the things I say or the things I believe in) because I want to do them. Unless my momma is unhappy with what I’m doing; I don’t stop it for shit. I’m my own person; I’m not a clone. And that’s something that hasn’t changed over the years, and that is something that will definitely stick with me throughout my lifetime.
I’m proud to say that about myself, as not very many people can. Hopefully, through my posts, I encourage you to be or become your own person, regardless as to what others say or think; because it’s not their life you’re living, it’s your own. Why live life through someone else’s wishes when once they’re gone you’ll only sit back and wonder what to do?
Below you will find two pictures. The one on the left is me on a skiing trip with my school when I was ten. And on the right is me in April of this year. I know that on the right I look quite fancy – I was going out for the night so I’m wearing a lot of makeup. That in itself will of course make me look more different. But trust me; I always wear makeup even if I’m just popping to the shops (it’s a comfort thing more than anything) so really, that is me.
Eight years of a difference, huh? Bloody hell. I still seem to be loving that red lippie though.
Guess some things will never change.
Much love, B xo