Suspended Sense of Surprised Shock
I was frozen for a long moment; in surprise of what had just happened. But then I realised it was over and he was probably expecting me to move so he could get off the bike.
I straightened my back, sliding away from him and detangling my arms from his torso while clearing my throat.
A moment later he climbed off the bike and turned to me with the most beautiful of expressions.
His hair was completely ruffled and windswept and his nose was a little flushed from the cold; like his cheekbones; and his eyes were large and innocently blinking at me in what appeared to be surprise and excitement.
“Well?” He pressed in a quiet voice and I reached up; giddy laughter bubbling in my stomach as I pulled the helmet off and shook my hair out.
“I’ve always wanted to do that!” I laughed, looking down at the helmet before reaching forwards and strapping it to the handlebars like Zac always does.
I looked up to find him staring down at me; his bottom lip between his teeth and his eyes sparkling now a little more mischievous.
“You probably enjoyed that a lot more than I did.” I said with a nod, running a hand through my helmet hair before climbing off the bike in what I hoped was an elegant way.
“Oh believe me, riding that thing will never be the same again, bambino.” I smirked at his dark tone and was thankful I was walking ahead of him for my door so he wouldn’t see the answering blush on my cheeks.
“So Andy’s gone for the whole week too?” Zac asked as we both sat down on my bed a little while later; now totally thawed with cups of coffee in our hands.
“Yup,” I nodded, setting mine down on the nightstand. “Typical Andy.”
“He’s not concerned about you staying here alone?”
I scoffed and shook my head, leaning back against my headboard and stretching my legs out in front of me, hearing my joints pop in relief.
“Normally I’ll go stay at Hollie’s for a couple days or she’ll come over for the whole week anyway so he’s probably thinking the same will happen this year too.”
“And will it?” He prodded and I shrugged.
“I dunno, Hollie’s at Percy’s a lot and I don’t want to… you know… interrupt. And I’ll be damned if Percy’s staying here too.” I laughed and Zac sniggered, setting his cup down on the nightstand.
“I would’ve thought Andy would’ve been a little more… protective of you now… You know, seeing as you’re with me nowadays.” I smirked at his use of words.
When he got tired his accent became thicker and his English grammar tended to slip.
I loved it when this happened though; he’d go from being Italian Mafia Bad-boy to Italian kitten in five seconds flat.
“I mean, sure Andy’s protective but it’s always in all the wrong ways,” I explained, reaching for my coffee cup again. “It’s like; don’t do too much homework… careful with the boiling water… don’t do drugs because they burn your brain-cells and you need them for college… don’t listen to mom and dad cause they’re selfish and pathetic, blah blah blah. He’s not really protective in the; don’t date… all boys are dicks – literally… don’t wear that, whatever. He’s a bit backwards.”
“I wouldn’t call that backwards,” Zac shook his head and I arched an eyebrow curiously. “No,” He added. “He’s got it right, mostly anyway. I mean, drugs do burn your braincells and you do need them for college, and boiling water can be dangerous. But I think it’s nice he trusts you with your choice in boys.” I laughed and set my coffee on the nightstand.
“Maybe that’s because the only guy he’s had to grill has been Louis, and I’ve known him since I was in diapers so there’s not much to grill there.” I laughed at the absurdity of that thought and Zac looked at me curiously.
“You mean there’s never been any other guys?” I shook my head with a smirk. “Never?” He asked in a surprised tone and I began to blush.
What was so preposterous about that? I mean, was it really surprising? I wasn’t much to look at – or play with – I wasn’t much of a people-person and I certainly didn’t have the time nor the patience to be with any guy at Griffinix High anyway. They all acted like they were either still in diapers or fresh out of freakin’ law school.
Either that or they were jocks. And I hated jocks.
“Nobody at school has ever really… Been that type of guy.” I explained in a slow and awkward voice.
“What type of guy would that be?” Zac asked, clearly intrigued.
I sighed, trying to think of a way to work it as he got a little bit more comfortable on the bed next to me. He laid out on his side, a little bit further down the bed so he could look at me without craning his neck or twisting around.
“I dunno, someone who isn’t a complete jerk. I mean, most guys at schools are either interested in the cheerleaders or the plastics or are only interested in adding another notch on their bedpost and another video to the internet. I mean, I’ve had to watch Hollie get hurt one too many times and I can honestly say that because of that I swore I’d never date a guy from Griffinix,” I shrugged like it was in the Bible and Zac looked at me as though he was impressed. “Well, that and there was an overwhelming lack of interest.” As soon as those words were out I immediately regretted them.
Who the fuck says that to their boyfriend; i.e. someone who is clearly interested in them?!?!?!
“Lack of interest?” Zac asked, surprised. “You had a lack of interest in them, i.e. you need to tell me something? Or there was a lack of interest in you, i.e. they need to be told something?” I smirked and blushed and began awkwardly playing with the hem of my jumper.
When I stayed silent Zac sighed and shuffled a little closer to me, putting a hand on my side and rolling me towards him so I was lying on my side too.
He reached for my chin next and tilted it up to look at him.
“Thank Acque Sante for that,” He said and I frowned in confusion. “That you never dated any other guy in Griffinix,” When my frown deepened he smirked and pushed the hair from my face, gently placing it over my shoulder so it fell away completely. “Because if you’d dated any guys at school, that would be a hell of a lot more faces to punch for ever letting you go in the first place.” I smiled but was confused about something.
“Faces to punch?” I echoed.
“Well yeah, I wouldn’t be too mean cause they let you go, thankfully, so I could have you,” I smiled and blushed profusely, dipping my eyes.
“Scarlett,” He said seriously and I looked back up to meet his eyes. “You are amazing,” He told me and my blush reddened. “You are beautiful, and honest, and caring and strong and loving. Any guy who has passed you up or hurt you has just been too scared of being with you, for fear of not being able to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, and love you the way you deserve to be loved.
“I believe, and I hope, that I can show them how to be with a girl like you, someone so beautiful and pure and… perfetto…” Tears shone in my eyes and I worked hard to swallow the lump in my throat.
“You better not be digging for a way to get in my panties, Zac, or I swear to Hell I’ll strangle you.”
“Strangle?” He smirked. “Now that I’d love to see.” I biffed his arm but he merely laughed and caught my hand, bringing it up to his lips while holding my eyes, kissing my knuckles and keeping my hand over his mouth for a long moment while we both searched each other’s eyes.
It was comforting to know that nothing could interrupt this moment.
There were no parents, no Andy, no pressing meetings with Hollie or Louis, no phone-calls that could disturb us.
And for that, the moment seemed to last longer, we seemed to fall deeper into one another’s eyes, and I didn’t mind that because I was lost in Zac’s, and there wasn’t anywhere else I wanted to be, more.
Have you ever felt something so strong, so pure and new and real that your breathing hitches and your chest feels tight and heavy like your heart is thudding and beating so hard and fast that it’s about to rip straight through your bones and explode into a cloud of dust and glitter around you?
Something so real and pure that it hurts to breathe; with each breath you’re frightened it could be your last because of the real ache in your chest?
Something so true that you’re rooted to the spot; your limbs and eyes and ears and nose and mouth won’t work because that’s wasting valuable energy, energy that your heart and chest needs more because of the pain and the ache and the feeling inside of you?
In that moment, I felt it. I felt it so strong it was as though my chest was being carved with blunt glass.
But it was a discomfort I could live with, a discomfort I didn’t want to end.
Because that feeling meant I was alive, it meant I was real, and so was this.
I wasn’t imaging anything because this feeling was so aching and so real.
I wondered if he could feel it too, but I thought that he probably couldn’t. I was feeling this way for him.
See, I didn’t tell him before because I was bashful to admit it. But the other reason why I hadn’t dated before now was because I fell for people too quickly. I trusted them too quickly. I believed them too quickly. I loved them too quickly.
And more often than not, that was thrown back in my face.
But this time, for Zac, I didn’t mind going through this aching agony of a feeling in my chest only to have it thrown back at me for being too naive and gullible and immature and unrealistic and pathetic. Because it was Zac. And this feeling was too good and too pure and too real to ever take back or shatter or regret.
I knew it probably wouldn’t last forever, but I knew I was going to enjoy every last bit of it while I still had it.
While I still had him.
I was so lost in my thoughts, so lost in my feelings and my heart and Zac that I only realised we were kissing – making out – when his rough and large hands ran over the bare skin of my stomach; pushing my jumper up my body in the heat of the moment.
I wanted him to continue, wanted the fabric off. I could feel the heat pearling on my forehead and at the back of my neck and in the dip of my collarbones and I wanted it off.
The kiss was hungry, but it was something else too.
His hands brought the jumper all the way up my torso, over the swell of my breasts to my chest, right over where the ache was still throbbing in my chest.
He effortlessly lifted my upper body off the mattress and parted our kiss momentarily to peel the fabric over my head.
I yanked my arms free and while I was still sitting up and now in the state of sobriety I took his face in my hands and slid them to his hair, running my blunt nails through the roots and tugging absentmindedly on the strands.
He groaned against my lips, tugging the tip of my tongue through his teeth aggressively as he lowered me back down onto the pillows.
I smiled against his mouth and pulled my fingers back through his hair, running my blunt nails down the strong planes of his neck and gripped at his shoulders as he straddled my body, working his mouth from my lips to my neck; sucking hard as I gasped for breath.
The ache was still present in my chest as he ran his hands from my bare waist to my arms and pinned my forearms against the mattress, running his fingers along.
I guess he wasn’t to know, and in the moment I’d completely forgotten too. But then he gripped at my upper arms and I gasped and whimpered so loudly I guess I woke us both up from the current situation.
“Lettie what’s…” He trailed off as he straightened his back and looked at the skin beneath his hands, immediately letting go as he sharply gulped through his mouth. “Dio mio…” He whispered, gently placing his fingertips over the ugly bruising on my upper arms. “Lettie,” He gulped…
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